25.11.08

Involuntary erections

Ah, a subject near and dear in my pants. As the title might suggest, this entry is about unintentional boners.

Now I'm not talking about morning wood, this is something different. An erection that cannot, no matter how many unsexy thoughts you think, go away. I have suffered from many an involuntary erections. I'm sure many of you, specifically the male population of my readership (I'm not touching the subject of female erection, as I'm at work and googling "female erection" might change my employment status with CSC) have suffered from this dilema. You know the situation, you're sitting at your desk and then you're at attention. What then? Do you force it down the left pant leg, right, swing it up and tuck it under your belt?
God help you if someone needs you to go to their desk. Then you're shit out of luck if you decided to line it down a pant leg. Congrats, now you're going to be popping a tent every other step. And guess what, some of your co-workers will notice. I'm sure they'll appreciate that you're happy to see them.

Here is an example:
It was 9th grade Earth Science class. It was spring time, and quite noticably many of the young ladies were in skirts. Jenna was sitting to the right of me wearing a khaki skirt, and naturally I decided it was a great idea to be in awe of her legs and thighs. So this is going on at the same time Mrs. Jones is calling up students to her desk to get their graded tests. Low and behold she calls my name when I happen to have a hard on. What makes this predictament that much worst, is the fact that I'm wearing some Old Navy shorts. These shorts were made of a very thin fabic, essentially, you could count the change in my pocket. So, in my infinite 9th grade wisdom, I decided to get up from my desk and I literally jump to Mrs. Jones's desk, grab the test, and jump back to my desk. My classmates noticed my silliness, not the rocket in my pocket.

Seth and Evan got it right.

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