It was Saturday afternoon. I was suffering from a killer sore throat and still was still hacking up some phlegm. So before going to work bingo, I decided to head over to Tropical Smoothie Cafe to get a smoothie with an immune booster in hopes to soothe my aching throat and to help fight my current sickness.
I walk in, two guys are sitting eating sandwiches and there is a family of four; mother and, potentially, three daughters in line. I say potentially as the kiddies, were wearing soccer uniforms, so they could all be friends, that's a minor detail. The four of them were standing trying to decide what they wanted to eat, I stood patiently and checked my twitter and facebook. After 5 minutes of arguing amongst themselves, I give a look at the cashier, he gives me an "I'm sorry, really can't do anything about this" kind of look. Which is understandable from his position. I take this and go to the bathroom to urinate, in hopes that whilest emptying my urine sack, the "family" would have made their order and gotten out of the line. Empty, flush, wash, dry, I walk back out to see the 4 still standing there.
I resume my position in line, and wait. I try to side step them but the mother puts her hand against my chest and says "We were here first. You have to wait like everyone else," I don't like being touched by strange women unless I'm drunk or I'm paying for it. This smoothie blocking pushed me to rage, it was then the mother redirects her attention to the menu and asks, "What does the mango habanero chicken wrap taste like?" This is where I lose it....
"JESUS RAPTOR CHRIST! MAKE A CHOICE! YOU'VE BEEN STANDING HERE FOR THE LAST 15 MINUTES IN A TROPICAL SMOOTHIE CAFE DEBATING ON A FUCKING WRAP, SMOOTHIE, AND SANDWICH. A BLIND RETARDED MONKEY COULD MAKE THIS DECISION IN A QUARTER OF THE TIME, YOU INCOMPETENT HAG!" The mother's jaw is wide open, the kids are stunned, and the cashier is wide eyed (still has yet to enter anything resembling an order).
I look to the cashier, and tell him "Mango Moxie, large, with an immune booster, and a bag of jalapeno chips." I walk by the family, pay for my order, and get my chips. I then sit and wait for my smoothie, the mother's giving me a glare. They leave without making an order. The cashier comes out with my smoothie and gives it to me, I hand him $40 dollars, "put this in the tip jar, for the lost business."
